Bar Room Brawl 2010 - Round 1 Results

The judges have...judged. And if you want to know which four have progressed, come inside and read their judgements...

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	VS
Malice		Metal
Judge 1: I used a 30 point system for judging the rewrites, and here are the scores. In Metal vs Malice, it was a VERY close match, I thought. Both men were excellent in grammar and spelling, and were dead even in entertainment value. Metal got a little ahead of Malice in the style category, while Malice made up for it in length. Metal's selling was a little bit better, but I enjoyed Malice's match action more. The grand totals were: Metal- 22 Malice- 23 Judge 2: Malice Malice turns in a decent entry, the highlight of which is the reveal of the twist, about midway through, which is nicely executed. Before that point, he'd done a fine job of conveying complete apathy and getting us into the heads of the competitors, albeit by turning Metal into something of a prima donna in the process. The selling of Kiebler and Fats is strong, and it's good to see explanations and justifications for otherwise strange decisions. The ending is an unfortunate exception to this- by effectively going for a punchline, it gets a quick laugh, but ultimately doesn't resolve anything satisfactorily. I do also think the balance of the rewrite is slightly off- it felt as if the match itself flew by very quickly compared with the build. However, overall, it was a good job- an entry with a nice concept with a well-executed twist but which just starts to lose its level of quality and attention to detail a little towards the end. Metal Hitting perhaps a little too close to home, Metal's wry dissection of the state of the industry is as entertaining as it is caustic. There's a lot of good selling on show here, although he probably relies just a touch too much on the dogged veteran/young gun contrast, as Malice does have a few too many belts and feds behind him for it to work. Metal's style is heavy on the narrative, and there's nothing wrong with that, and he provides enough information without going into every character's backstory to show he knows his stuff, which can be a delicate balance to maintain. His match action was also some of the better I've read lately. On the other hand, I didn't care much for the blade subplot, as it felt like a somewhat artificial device, especially in contrast to the realistic descriptions in the build up. That said, I can understand the desire to create conflict in an otherwise rather friendly scenario. Decision This one is a legitimately tough call, as both competitors turned in rewrites at a similar sort of level, with quite similar strengths and weaknesses. While both did a fine job of bringing NPCs to the table and selling them, both had good, not great, selling of their opponent, and both took the scenario and deviated slightly, but not majorly. For Malice, a good concept is let down by a lack of consistent quality, hitting a high note with the twist but tailing off at the finish, while Metal's writing is more consistent throughout but with, in my eyes, a weaker storyline concept. Whilst praising Malice's ambition, I think I'm going to go with Metal for the victory in this match, as I have to judge on what is being presented, not what is being attempted. Judge 3: Malice Malice turns in an entry that starts at a leisurely pace, boils up, and hits its peak from the beginning of the twist, to towards the end of the match action. The selling of the people involved is great. It brings in a fresh idea to what was presented, which is great for sticking out in a crowd of rewrites, as it brings some originality into it. The match action, for the most part, is great. Unfortunately, the ending is flat. When a twist comes so early into a story, the expectancy is for that to have some overall meaning to the grand scheme of things in the rewrite. It doesn’t. The whole reason for the twist, as explained in the rewrite, gets wiped out in the last part of the rewrite, due to there being no implementation of the plan, and no thwarting of it. In this scenario, it really needs some sort of decision, some ending. Malice suffers here for his idea about environment, as he has to justify this new idea. The idea, was a good one, and in parts, used very well. When reading it, I really wanted to know how it was going to play out. How would it end, both the match, and the story in it? Unfortunately, both left me a bit disappointed. The match ending felt rushed, and the story end didn’t actually end anything. Honestly, after reading up all the build up, and raising my curiosity about the wellbeing of the two participants, as well as the other people mentioned in the rewrite, coming to the end, the finale of the story, just, didn’t hit at all. If anything, it took from the great build up of the earlier parts to the twist in the middle. Overall, this was a good submission, with an original story and environment, and it shows that Malice can be a great writer. However, it suffers from not living up to its own twist, towards the end of the rewrite. Metal Metal starts his submission with a bang. A bleak overview of the business and the EC’s doubts of Clive’s ability to actually turn this round with his idea, which, following the report, sells the members very well. The environment of the CWA is sold well, as well as the staff. The one thing that I did not agree with, was mentioning things that are not IC related. Pyscho Steve and SCC banter, or whatever it may be called, is not IC. It really serves no purpose in this rewrite. It’s definitely not needed in any way. It’s not OOC comments as such, it’s just, using OOC for IC benefit. I don’t consider it inappropriate, it’s more that it just doesn’t make any sense in the rewrite to be mentioned. The twist, makes sense to me. Maybe a bit extreme, as in Metal’s actions. But upon reading the ending, I went back through the rewrite, and the story to it, works. I had to decide if it was believable, considering the lack of respect EC have for Clive, if these two would work together. But, although far fetched, it can be justified for their common want. Overall, this was a good submission, which brings out some of the very best in Metal, and provides an entertaining story, with a believable twist to it. Unfortunately it grasps some of it’s ideas from OOC elements and needlessly places them into an IC environment. Decision The rewrites were very evenly matched, and in the end it came down to one factor. When you have two stories and they both go for a twist, it can come down to just what one was better implemented. Malice’s was a larger scale twist, and was more on the original side. Metal’s was simple and effective. Malice’s lack of consistency to stick to the original idea from the larger twist, is what makes Metal’s shine through for me. Simple, effective, and consistent. That is why I am awarding Metal the win in this match. Winner: METAL!

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	VS
Swingblade		Electric Shadow
Judge 1:Electric Shadow Perhaps not the most household of names, Electric Shadow nonetheless was clearly game for this one, and certainly showed what he could do in this one. His homework on his opponent was evident, as well as some nice recognition of his own CWA past, particularly with TacoBell and GamenWatch. Unfortunately, the rewrite suffers from a somewhat unforgivable omission- while all of the other selling is pretty good, the scenario itself is barely mentioned, even in passing. Electric Shadow has written quite a decent entry for a straight one-on-one match, particularly the match action itself, but by virtually ignoring the video game aspect, he has shot himself in the foot big time. Swingblade As the RP Champion of Wrassle's only National federation, this BRB is arguably Swingblade's to lose- it's pretty clear the guy can write, and on his day. However, that fact only makes this entry all the more curious, as, reading it, there's a distinct feeling that Swingblade never gets beyond second gear, almost as if he's cruising comfortably through this round without breaking too much of a sweat. The selling of Electric Shadow doesn't at any point go much deeper than "eager rookie", and there's not too much to write home about in terms of storyline development. That said, there's nothing specifically bad about it, and the Chain Reaction situation is a nice piece of continuity deserving of recognition. Decision Well, as far as I'm concerned, we need to answer a simple question- as the underdog, did Electric Shadow do enough to overcome Swingblade? The answer is no. Swingblade gets my vote, although this was a lot closer than it had any right to be- if Electric Shadow hadn't neglected the brief so badly, there really wouldn't have been too much in it. Whether it's nerves or overconfidence, Swingblade's writing was lacking something this round, which is highly unusual for him, and that might put the scent of blood in the water for any potential opponents in the next one. Judge 2: A very solid match up between these two as they really held nothing back in either of their posts. Below are my thoughts on each segment and my final decision. Swingblade: An outstanding effort from the SHOW-time champion. He did a great job of selling his opponent, telling the story, and getting others involved. I really enjoyed the reference to the swerve of Broken Helix at Stable Wars and Chain wanting a bit of revenge for it. I also enjoyed the fact that it seemed like his opponent could have come out the victor at any moment. It was obvious to me that Swingo had done his homework for this match. Overall, it was a very good read. Electric Shadow: Another outstanding effort from a first timer. I could tell from the quality of the post that he has a great amount of talent and is destined for great things. As for the post in general, it was of great quality, but I often found myself searching for a high spot that would catch my attention and make me want to find out what happened next, unfortunately I didn't find it in this post. Even though he told a very good story, I often found myself wanting more intrigue from it, and I didn't get it from this post My winner: Swingblade. Winner: SWINGBLADE!

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	VS
Ellie Murphy		Marcellus Gates
Judge 1: Ellie Murphy - Very good entry. A bit hard to read, but still very good. The match action was where the entry got really good and the breaking of Mr. Cunninghams laptop provided a bit of a twist, but not much happened with it since the data he'd recorded had already been saved to servers back at HQ. Mr. Cunninghams lisp was the single biggest sore spot in the entry. At the beginning it seemed the lisp was TOO lispy, but near the end it seems as if the lisp is all but forgotten. The RP of Clive Windsor and the roving hands of Stuntman Colt Calhoun as well as the nod to BRB champions of the past were all good touches. Marcellus Gates - Marcellus set up a side story from the very start and carried it through to the end instead of just sticking to the subject given. At some points, the story seemed like it was rushed along though and the structure of the rewrite made some of the shorter sections stand out. That said, I loved the fact that Marcellus went for the big production style matches instead of the strict mo-cap session since this IS the Bar Room Brawl and not just the Wrassle Video Game. Two very good rewrites, but I have to go with Marcellus Gates for the win. His rewrite was easier to read with fewer mistakes and just slightly more entertaining. Congrats to both of you for even qualifying. Contrary to popular trends, the BRB is still one of my favorite events because it's by far the hardest to compete in....in my opinion of course, and I'm sure your all tired of hearing it so.....yeah. Judge 2: I used a 30 point system for judging the rewrites, and here are the scores. In Marcelus vs Ellie, I enjoyed both posts, and both were well-written. Both had excellent grammar and spelling, but Ellie lost some points for style, as hers was somewhat bland looking, at least compared to Gates. Ellie just scraped by Gates in the selling, match action and length categories. The grand totals were: Marcelus, 20 Ellie, 23 Judge 3: Gates Marcelus Gates' entry was a good example of how to build on a scenario without completely corrupting it or losing the plot- in introducing Juan Shan to mess with the programmers, it provides Gates with a deeper plot than what was given, but simultaneously keeping him focussed on the match itself. The only problem with doing that is the disconnect between the two plots- ultimately, because Gates and Shan haven't met before, Shan's justification is a bit on the flimsy side. There's also not really much of Ellie in the story- aside from the fact that she has a brother, that's about it in terms of identifying her as a character. It kind of feels as though she could quite easily have been replaced in the narrative by anyone else with a relative- although the selling of other characters, such as Metal, was reasonable. Murphy Ellie's rewrite sticks rigidly within the boundaries of the scenario, but does a good job within those boundaries of making her story different from the others. That said, writing in the first person is always a risky business- if done well, it can make a good read better by conveying the entire narrative from one perspective, which is engrossing, but if done badly, it can sabotage an entire entry. On this occasion, it was done well- Murphy avoided the common first person pitfall of not selling her opponent, and did a decent job with Calhoun and Cunningham as well. She built a good visual scene, and the match action flowed nicely, but again, this was often fine and dandy, without being spectacular. Decision Marcelus Gates is guilty of a rewrite sin in not giving a lot of face time to his opponent and treating her somewhat one-dimensionally, while Ellie Murphy turned in an entry that took its risks in terms of style, but far less so in terms of content. For me, Murphy shades it- there's really nothing to fault in her actual writing, and the first person perspective aids rather than detracts from the entry. Gates' wasn't a poor entry by any measure, and his attempt to develop the scenario deserves huge credit, but the overall focus just feels a little off. Winner: ELLIE MURPHY!

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	VS
Obese		JT Davison
Judge 1: A very solid effort from both, especially with JT since I believe this is his first attempt at a BRB match up. Below are my thoughts on both men, and my final decision. JT: Like I said before, a very solid effort put in. He sold his opponent very well and had some good match action as well. There is one thing though that I would work on.. The length of your entry for instance, as compared to others, was a bit short. Throw some more stuff into the post, draw the match out as if it was a posting battle between you and your opponent. Throw some more happenings in the backstage area, create some kind of curveball that makes the match that much more interesting. Obese: Another very good effort from the two ton terror. A very enjoyable read that made me laugh to myself more than once. It had the right amount of comedy and action to keep me intrigued. He included more of the other participants into the match than his opponent did, and I've always felt that integral part of a BRB matchup. The way he ended the match also made me smile and left me satisfied with the entry. My winner by a medium margin: Obese. Judge 2: JT - This was an entertaining rewrite, and showed knowledge of his surroundings and his opponent.    Unfortunately, as soon as I was getting into the rewrite, and seeing that it was ticking all the right boxes, it was over.  It was a very short rewrite, which is a shame.  But, what was there, was great. Obese - Obese gives us a great rewrite, and anyone that knows Obese, knows this is classic Obese stuff.  He plays the heel so well, but makes you laugh.  His rewrite brought in a great background of the environment, he sells JT well, the other members well, and everything around him well. Verdict - Both of these rewrites were good.  JT’s was short, but was very strong.  Obese’s was longer, and was also very strong.  What wins it for me is that fact that Obese was able to keep the quality of the rewrite going for longer, making it more entertaining.  Obese gets the nod from me to progress.  JT, should not be too disappointed, as this was by no means one sided.  I hope to see JT in future events, and am certain we will. Winner: OBESE!

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Anyone that is DQ'ed from this event, for any reason, will be handed a 20,0000wbs fine, and will not be allowed to take part in Wrassle Wide Events with any wrassler under that handler, until May. So don't get DQ'ed.

Bar Room Brawl Schedule

2nd -7th March - First Round [submissions by 23:59:59 7th] via PM to Clive Windsor (link to where rewrite is, not actual rewrite)
8th - 9th - Judging on First Round.
10th - Results Report
11th - 16th - Round 2 [submissions by 23:59:59 16th] via PM to Clive Windsor (link to where rewrite is, not actual rewrite)
17th - 18th - Judging on Round 2.
19th - Results Report
20th - 26th - Final [submissions by 23:59:59 26th] via PM to Clive Windsor (link to where rewrite is, not actual rewrite)
27th - 28th - Judging Final
29th - Report on Final, winner, PRIZES!

PRIZES!

As the winner of the 2010 Bar Room Brawl, you will receive the following Prizes...

$60,000WBS
2 Free Dojo Moves (Extreme) 3 Months Extreme (Non-Extreme)
Your name on the champions list
A place in the Wrasslepalooza infamous EC Vs Commissioners match, representing Clive Windsor (if wanted)

Good luck to all of the participants